do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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