I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
