I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
