The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
