I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
