Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
