The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
