ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
