U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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