I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
