yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
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