Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
