doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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