I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
