if you like me you must not know who I am
you guys were way drunker than both of me
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
