So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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