He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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