Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
