I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
