Well apparently he's into motor boating.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm passing your future prison.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Randomize
