Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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