I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
