I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
