She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
