So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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