Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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