normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
