whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
