the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i drank out of a bidet.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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