Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize