Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
