Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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