now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
