If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I want a musical about memes.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
