OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
