I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
