yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
