he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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