Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
