By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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