I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
