isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
This house was built for laser tag.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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