Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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