you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
