I wish my penis had an off switch
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
