your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
