OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
