Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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