I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
