you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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