sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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