my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
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