a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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