One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
