fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
