Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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