When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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