hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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