Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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