doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
why do cheetos always look like penises
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
you made out with another girl for some wings
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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