She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
