If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
